The Fundraiser was a success! I got to see a lot of my friends, meet new people, HAVE FUN, and raise money all at the same time! Not too shabby a night in my world. Hah! I met one couple that really inspired me. They think their son has autism too. In the short amount of time I talked to the mom, I was reminded just how painful it is to suspect that your child has autism. You have no idea what is going on or how to help your child. I was there two years ago, and looking at her was like looking at a reflection of myself. Whenever I think back to that time I almost have to put invisible "shields" up around my heart so that I don't break down...it is impossible to describe to someone who hasn't been there how hard it is to watch your child slowly stop responding to everything, your voice. I wish there was something I could do to reassure her that everything will be ok. But the truth is, I can't even convince myself of that some days. I just focus on the day-to-day and pray that therapy will continue to help my son. Once in a while, like when Dustin and I changed our wills last week, I am reminded that when Derek is older he may need special care. I don't like to think that he will have to live with us all of his life, but that very well may be the case. Or if something happens to us, Tyler may have to be put in charge of his finances if Derek is not capable of controlling his own. Strange to think about at this point in time, but it has to be done. I wish he could stay 3 forever sometimes. :)
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