This beautiful boy has been under my wing for 5 years now. I've been more than his mother. I've been his protector, his interpreter, his advocate, his nurse, his cheerleader and his teacher. In a lot of ways, I've been his voice. Now, I'm about to let my child start his first real adventure without me. He started his transition from preschool into kindergarten today, and will continue to go every Friday for the rest of the school year.
It's time for my child to grow his own wings.
And I'm terrified.
Today was a trial run. The plan was for me to take him to school, drop him off in the kindergarten classroom with one of his preschool teachers as an aide, and return in an hour.
Does anything ever go as planned?
I tried to sneak out, but Derek saw me leaving and started crying. He said, "Coat off?" which is his way of telling me to stay. I knew that if I left, it would be an hour of nonstop crying. I wanted his first day to be a good experience. So I reluctantly stayed, but I tried to be as inconspicuous as possible.
Derek did surprisingly well...at first. It helped that the teacher had prepared the class that morning, and told them about the special "Friday guest." Everyone wanted to be Derek's friend. And the kids wanted to show Derek the toys and play with him.
My son was done. Luckily, it was only 5 minutes before we were supposed to go. So I decided to let it go for the day.
Day 1, done.
Derek barely made it through an hour with me. How in the world is he going to make it through an entire day without me next fall?
I hope his wings grow quickly. This letting go stuff hurts more than I expected.